Alpha Kids Planets
Land of Crypts and Helium
he Land of Crypts and Helium, abbreviated as LOCAH, is Jane Crocker's planet in the Post-Scratch Medium. It is a desolate planet, devoid of life except for some flowers that seem to be growing from cracks and crevices. All trees on the planet are completely dead. It was once home to the Salamanders, such as those that inhabited the Land of Wind and Shade, but they died long ago in relation to the time that Jane makes her way into the Medium. They were instructed by their Denizen Hemera to stop preparing for Jane's arrival, as it would not come in their lives, and instead build their own graves (the "Crypts"). The "Helium" aspect of the planet comes from the large seed pods that grow into balloon-like objects which are filled with helium and then sent off with hopes that they will reach Skaia. The planet shares themes with the rest of the sessions' planets of burial places and noble gases, representative of the dead end/inert nature of their session. When Jane arrives in the Medium, her house lands on one of the balloons, but it soon sinks into the ground beneath the planet.
The Seed Pods scattered throughout the planet have two purposes. They water the planet in hopes of feeding new life and assisting the dead planet in blossoming again. There is indeed much plant life under the surface of the planet, but it seems to be unable to survive on the surface. Their second purpose, according to legend, allows them to make wishes come true. If a wish is carved into a Seed Pod, and the Seed Pod reaches Skaia, the wish would be made true. In this planet's introduction flash, Jane carves a poorly drawn picture of Jake.
Several tablets are scattered across the planet that prophecize the arrival of Jane, the Maid of Life. They do not call her a "Hero", but rather a "Noble", as Nobles become martyrs or toil in endless futility. They have also prophecized that the light of Hope (Jake) will already have been snuffed out, which is evident in the lanterns the reader uses to navigate through the Act 6 Act 3 flash. The lanterns also prophecize that the Nobles of Heart and Void will also have their lights snuffed out, and that they will not be able to finish their quest to hear the Vast Croak without the arrival of the four gods (John, Rose, Dave, and Jade). By utilizing the lanterns and Lil' Sebastian, Jane travels around the planet collecting skulls of a Salamander, a Turtle, a Crocodile, and an Iguana to unlock the door to a room called the "Maid's palace".
While Jake's lantern was already dark (possibly because his dream self was already dead), the state of the other lanterns seems to be connected to the state of their waking selves. After Jane and Roxy's waking selves are killed by the Red Miles and Dirk is knocked out, the Jane and Roxy's lanterns go dark, while Dirk's lantern goes dim. Dirk's lantern lights up again after Aranea uses her powers to awaken him, then went completely dark again off-screen (probably when his waking self died in the Synchronize flash), then grew extremely bright and exploded when Dirk was revived. When the alpha kids reached the god tiers, the lantern shrine flashed brightly with all of their colors and then exploded.
LOCAH also appears to contain scarab beetles as a totem animal, just as John's planet, the Land of Wind and Shade, contained fireflies and Jade's planet, the Land of Frost and Frogs, contained hummingbirds. These totem animals of John and Jade surrounded them when they died on their Quest Beds and ascended into Godhood. Jane's scarab beetles probably would have surrounded her had she died on her Quest Bed (assuming she has one), and ascended to Godhood; however, as was stated by both Calliope and Caliborn, the Alpha Kids were only able to use their Quest Crypts on Prospit and Derse to ascend. After Jane enters Trickster Mode, she blasts off from her house and restores half of LOCAH to life. The planet has suffered serious damage in its collision with LOHAC in the battle between the Condesce and Aranea Serket. What remains is currently in Derse's previous orbit.
The reader's first view of LOCAH.
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LOCAH when it is dead.
LOCAH when it is alive.
LOCAH as it is fading.
Land of Tombs and Krypton
The Land of Tombs and Krypton, abbreviated as LOTAK, is Dirk Strider's planet in the Post-Scratch Medium, and is one of the main four planets of their session. The planet shares themes with the rest of the sessions' planets of burial places and noble gases, representative of the dead end/inert nature of their session.The kids use what appear to be gas masks in order to breathe in the thick krypton gas, when they descend through the towers and levels below. Krypton gas sinks, so the masks are seemingly not required at the elevation of Dirk's house or the tallest rooftops, where the gas is thinnest.The planet is covered with a horde of living skeletons, which may prove to be underlings judging by their Giclops like skulls.Of the large towers, a statue of Yaldabaoth, the planet's denizen, appears atop one of them. This very statue was later shown destroyed after the events of GAME OVER.The atmosphere of the planet is green and orange, with large arcs of what could either be electricity or plasma scattered around the surface.The planet suffered serious damage in its collision with LOMAX in the battle between the Condesce and Aranea Serket, but it has been reverted to its former state after John's retcon powers undid the battle. It was subsequently all but destroyed in the aftermath of Collide.The Land of Tombs and Krypton was revealed during [S] ACT 6 ACT 4, along with the Land of Pyramids and Neon and the Land of Mounds and Xenon.
While krypton is inert and therefore non-toxic, breathing air with a high krypton content can cause symptoms similar to nitrogen narcosis due to its high density. In addition, if there is enough krypton in the atmosphere to displace oxygen, it can act as an asphyxiant. Either situation would explain the use of gas masks. The tombs resemble the temples of the Khmer Empire (stretched to exaggerated heights, much like the skyscrapers of Prospit, Derse and Alternia's green moon and the homes of SBURB/SGRUB players). This is probably a reference to Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, in which Lara Croft retrieves half of an ancient, magical artifact from a Cambodian tomb.
The reader's first view of LOTAK.
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Land of Tombs and Krypton.
Inhabitants of LOTAK.
Land of Pyramids and Neon
The Land of Pyramids and Neon, abbreviated as LOPAN, is Roxy Lalonde's planet in the Incipisphere of the post-Scratch Medium. The planet shares themes with the rest of the session's planets of burial places and noble gases, representative of the dead end/inert nature of their session.The planet is somewhat geometrical and covered in light orange pyramids and similar Egyptian-style ruins. Some of the pyramids appear to be made out of glass and occasionally flash red-orange, the color of electrically excited neon gas, while most others appear "cut" into quarters and give off various colours of light from their peaks.The planet is surrounded with a thin atmosphere of pinkish gas. Roxy and Jane were first seen here in their Incipisphere, solving a puzzle that apparently involved Roxy sendificating a Window to the top of a pyramid at range to let Jane enter a gate, a process which is highly reminiscent of the Portal videogame series. Like the other Planets in their Medium, it presumably has skeletal Underlings.The Land of Pyramids and Neon was revealed during [S] ACT 6 ACT 4, along with the Land of Tombs and Krypton and the Land of Mounds and Xenon.It was one of two planets left undamaged after The Condesce and Aranea's battle, the other being LOWAS. Roxy took a dying Rose onto it, where Rose died. Then John and Roxy met Terezi, who instructed them to visit their denizens.The retconned timeline LOPAN appears to be in perfect condition.
There appear to be two distinct layers in its atmosphere.The name, LOPAN, is possibly a reference to the 1986 film Big Trouble in Little China - the antagonist of which was the ancient Chinese sorcerer Lo Pan.The Land of Pyramids and Neon could also refer to Las Vegas, and the Luxor Las Vegas hotel and casino, which is shaped like a pyramid. This could refer to Roxy's association with inappropriate behavior and sexual innuendos.
The reader's first view of LOPAN.
Land of Pyramids and Neon
Shining pyramids
Land of Mounds and Xenon
The Land of Mounds and Xenon, abbreviated as LOMAX, is Jake English's planet. The planet shares themes with the rest of the sessions' planets of burial places and noble gases, representative of the dead end/inert nature of their session, as well as the fact that the Heroes are called Nobles in such a session. It is very green, of a resembling shade to that of Lord English, and apart from the purple canyons and clouds it closely resembles Alternia's green moon.There are hordes of undead on the planet, which are the session's Underlings, including a Basilisk-like skeletal creature crawling over a barrow and some smaller skeletons resembling Imps.The planet is cut into quarters by some oddly angular canyons filled with clouds of purple gas (likely electrically excited xenon itself). Viewed from space, they resemble a large, purple "X" spanning the planet, potentially a reference to xenon via the first letter. This could also be reference to Plato's dialogue, [javascript:void(0) Timaeus,] in which the world soul is cut by two crossing circles forming the letter chi, or "X."There are many shelves/steps dug into the ground, reminiscent of the remains of terraced agriculture. The archaeological explanation is in line with Jake's love of adventure.
There are also red post and lintel structures that resemble the Stonehenge standing stones (or other stone circles) peppering the planet. The planet is also covered in green burial barrows, which are presumably the tombs of the Iguanas. Barrows and stone circles were both made in northern Europe in a similar time period in the real Earth.The Land of Mounds and Xenon was released during [S] Act 6 Act 4, along with the Land of Pyramids and Neon and the Land of Tombs and Krypton.LOMAX was the planet which the Prospitian battleship landed on after its arrival in the new session. Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde, Wayward Vagabond, Kanaya Maryam, Dave Strider, and Terezi Pyrope were teleported to this planet from their speeding meteor to meet with John, either by Jade or Gcat (both under the Condesce's control). The planet has suffered serious damage in its collision with LOTAK in the battle between the Condesce and Aranea Serket. What remains is currently in Derse's previous orbit.The acronym LOMAX is a reference to the character Bernie Lomax from the the film Weekend at Bernie's, which is one of Jake's favorite films.
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